Extravagant Learnings

I've attempted many times to post "final thoughts". . .

To be honest there hasnt been one defining moment where i might find myself brushing off my hands, closing the book and saying. ."there! Thats done!" I guess i've been waiting for that moment. I suspect, however, that there will always be - one more step and that this journey will never be done. Since that last post MONTHS ago. . there were steps that i was certain to be the crossing finish line of this experience. . . .

I set some physical goals - worked hard almost every day to reach them: Did 3 5k walks in the fall and the Thanksgiving Day 10k. These were personal victories. . . I had never before experienced any level of physical accomplishment - each time i rushed to the car for some display of emotional tear filled breakdown. . ..

I've also learned that I will ALWAYS be a cardiac patient.  Yes, my condition is chronic.  The aneurysm is repaired, the heart valve is clicking away.  Full healthy function requires so many things to be "ideal".   There will always be a few pills every day. . . controlling rate and pressure, clotting, nutrients etc.   There will always be twice yearly appointments for echocardiagrams and check ups to monitor flow and function.  There will always be weekly finger sticks to monitor protime / INR and coumadin dosage. There will always be risk.

I will EVER be a champion for Heart Health and cardiac care!

But simply saying that there will always be articulates a great faith in the gift of what WILL BE.  The confidence of the hope of tomorrow.  The gift of this moment and this day.   I've learned to treasure each breath and offer each heart click as a thank you.

I've learned that

• the greatest blessing comes in surprising ways 
• when you are recovering from major surgery you really need support! (that means good friends and good undergarments!)
• being dependent and in need is the most humbling and sometimes humiliating place to be.  Which is why everyone should be there at least once
• no one is indespensable!  We are not as important as we want to think.  Rest and renewal is for healing - true of our bodies and very true of our soul.
• prayer is the most amazing mystery I know (or at least in the top 5).  I've learned so much about prayer especially that we talk too much and listen too little.
• "being" is more important than "doing"
• meat is good!
• friends dont have to talk. . . sometimes just sharing space is exactly whats called for.
• Hugs are awesome and you should never miss the chance to say I Love you.
• Scars are beautiful!  they really are. . .they tell a story of healing and strength. (however, 70spf is still recommended)

I know there is much more to learn. . . .  so often I am aware that I am able to do things that I could never have been able to do before the aneurysm repair.  So often I'm aware of the blessing of getting to experience anything wonderful at all. . . that my very existence is miraculous.

I'm thankful for so much. . . . . and I'm thankful for you.    Each day is a gift . . . .  .and His love is extravagant.