All Systems Go!

Dan and I met with the Surgeon, Dr. Cook, today. He laid out lots of toys for us to consider - all types of different valves, pictures of hearts from different angles, lots of brochures with happy healthy people on the front cover. He had reviewed all the films and all the reports and drew nice pictures of exactly what is to happen. The aortic valve will be replaced and and a graft of the aortic root will deal with the aneurysm. The echo also revealed a congenital "hole" in one chamber that he will take care of while he's "in there" with just a few stitches. . he said "Its actually kind of fun!". (Imagine him at parties!)

We had a long conversation about pros and cons of different procedures, processes, options, etc. we've agreed on a mechanical valve. I'm a bit overwhelmed by the thought of lifetime anticoagulation therapy. . but the alternative would be probable valve replacement every 10 - 15 years. I plan to be busy. There will be minimal lifestyle adjustments that includes no more rugby, mountain climbing, or contact sports. I dont know how to break that to the Bengals but I hope they understand.

I have a few more routine pre- surgical tests on Monday then we report back at the hospital at 5 am on Tuesday August 5th. I had a very low grade fever today for unknown reasons. . please pray that there are no other infections happening that would prevent us moving forward.

Side Note: Turns out that my surgeon is a Methodist. . . a typical methodist ... the ones that keep their membership in their home church but havent been there in years and havent found a local congregation to connect with. . . .they would love to find one that is very traditional and just havent found one. . its all contemporary or just not traditional. . .i suggested a few. . .and then gave him a little mini lecture about his home church having to pay apportionments on his membership and that he should either find a new church or send a check back home. . . like most methodists. . he had no idea! he left the room to schedule the surgery and by the time he came back I had thought of yet another GREAT UMC church that he should try. . .He laughed a bit . . and I said "Dr. Cook. . you need to know that it is VERY important to me that my surgeon have a church". . OK he said. . No. . I mean it! I will be asking you a lot over the next few months. I feel so confident in his care, he comes highly recommended, he thinks heart surgery is fun, and He's of the Wesleyan family and a member of my tribe! this is great! He will literally be holding my heart in his hands and I know you'll pray with me that God will be holding us all.!

I have just a few days to tie up loose ends at home, with the kids, at the church. . Its all a bit overwhelming. Last night I met with the leadership of the church to plan for the recovery time. I was overwhelmed by words of blessings.. its hard for a pastor to let go of what they have claimed to be their "responsibility". I know that God will be / is teaching us all so much.

Today I shared with a friend that I felt overwhelmed, resolved, eager, dreadful, hesitant, determined, hopeful, scared, and amazingly peaceful all at the same time. . . and then realized - uh. . thats pretty much the reality of every moment of my life since I've known Jesus!

^{PSALM 139
1} O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
² You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
³ You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
⁴ You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
⁵ You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!

Test Test

Testing email updates. . is this thing on?

PIN CUSHION

I have terrible veins for sticking! We were at the hospital very early this morning for a TEE. Drinking the numbing stuff was pretty nasty.. it was like a tube of orajel in a salad dressing cup - thick consistency and nasty taste. they said "Chug it". . I still had the bandaids from mondays ct stick attempts and now it took 3 more tries to get an iv going. . In the big scheme of thngs i know it seems petty but its the part i dread. . they almost always end up on the back of the hand. . i wish they'd just start there. The TEE again confirmed and affirmed the leakage, the recent changes, and the causes of the 0xygen shortage. They found some other kind of "hole" somehwere else as well that should look different. . not sure what thats all about. . it will be the surgeons call. Dr. Hutchins suggested we just go ahead and get the Angio out of the way while we were there. . so I was sent off to the Cath Lab where I was to be the "next in line" for about 4 hours. Dan went and did some kid transport, came back, and we're still waiting. One reason for us to choose this hospital is the blessing of getting to be a "relief chaplain" here for a while. I love the Spiritual care team here so much and I've been a front row witness to the great care of the medical teams here. .. they really are a family. So Dan got in on some great breakroom food while we were waiting! Great perk! (thanks L!) More pincushion sticks and eventually our number was called! Surreal experience being awake and talking even laughing while you and the people around you are watching the wire move through your body. Good news is that all systems are flowing great! no blockage or obstruction anywhere. The CT reading came in while we were there and it confirmed that the Aneurysm has enlarged and is more than twice the size of a normal aortic root. Definitely all is confirming and affirming that we must move ahead on surgery.
I hadnt planned on the angio today and wasnt prepared for the resulting discomfort. Needed this week to tie down some things like laundry! but now I cant lift . (or actually walk right now).
Just the Minor stuff today reminds me of some shopping to do. .I must get some very loose, very comfy clothes.!
we'd planned on a couple of hours at the hospital this morning and spent over 12.. . . this is a weird place to be. . .trying to keep some privacy and maintain normalcy at the same time. My inbox was full of things that need my attention. I've been in touch with people that I am accountable to regardin responsibilities. . tomorrow I'll have meetings at the church that are so important as we move ahead in vision. I go to the surgeon on Thursday morning, Dan & Emm will be off this weekend to a softball tourney in our home town. I get to be part of Marrying of Beth and Steve this weekend, serve communion twice, an emmaus candle light, Sunday worship, softball celebration, then focus will turn towards the HEARTWORK that lies before us.

I am so looking forward to a wholly working heart!

Ct Scan

3:30 pm Had CT Scan of Chest with Contrast. . I have the WORSE veins. . it took 3 pretty uncomfortable sticks to get the contrast going. .

The CT was ordered to get a current measurement of the aneurysm.

Feeling pretty tired today and wondering how I'm gonna get it all done.

I did get some loose ends tied up regarding bills, schedules, forms for Emm, etc. .

Oh and I got this blog set up!

The Back Story

4 years ago I was mid way through seminary studies and began to really struggle with levels of energy and fatigue. . When I mentioned this to those around me, no one was surprised. . "Your working full time, in school full time, your a busy youth pastor, and a mom of 3. . no wonder your exhausted!" But I knew it was something more. . . The load I was carrying was really no different, busier, or crazier than I had always carried. . I knew that this wasnt just exhaustion, At times I felt that I could hardly function or even take one more step.

My Family doctor explored every possible reason. . He was attentive to a "different" sound in my heart and sent me for an echocardiogram. The Echo revealed that I had an aneurysm on the descending aortic root of my heart. I was referred immediately to a cardiologist. . . The initial measurements were very alarming - placing the aortic root in rupture range - it was deemed very serious. An MRA was ordered to get a more accurate measurement. Thankfully the more accurate measurement placed the aneurysm at just a tenth of a cm outside of seriousness. . .The strategy was then to simply medication therapy to keep my heart rate and blood pressure low to avoid any increased stress on the heart. The goal was to keep the aneurysm stable and monitor it frequently.

Over the past 4 years I have had MRA's and Cardiologist visits every 6 months. With each visit it seemed that the valve murmer would get a bit more noticable. At an appointment 4 months ago the MRA showed the Aneurysm to be stable but the echo showed that the valve leakage had increased and there were now 2 murmers. Since there were no obvious implications of this and all other vitals are still good we just keep watching.

Since that appointment 4 months ago the symptoms have slowly increased. So slowly that I didnt give them much thought but increased to the point of "no denial". . . I was more tired - Could rarely get through a day without a nap. . it was more than just "tired" it was an overall fatique. I began to wonder what might be wrong and didnt even consider it was my heart. . . Shortness of breath was the most indicative of heart issues. . I became very frustrated with my inability to fully participate in so many things. . It increased through the summer to the current reality of hardly able to do a flight of steps, lift a basket of laundry, or even carry groceries from the car without gasping for air. Recently my fingers began to tingle and go numb. I began to get dizzy at times and have issues with balance when standing up.

I called the cardiologists just thinking he might order some kind of test or adjust meds.. . but the blood pressure and the heart rhythms simply point to the fact that it is "Time". Valve replacement here we come.

Dr. Hutchins was very encouraging, stating this is routine and that my age and my health will make it a good thing! We spoke of recovery and time line...

Sooooooo Here we go.