A shared journey of Friends through surgery to repair an aortic aneurysm and mechanical valve replacement. . .AKA Miracles, blessings, and grace! Here I will share my Heart! Thank you for sharing the journey!
This year I was blessed beyond words to visit Israel as part of a "Pilgrimage for Spiritual Renewal". I just kept thinking (over and over) I can't believe I'm doing this!! I could NEVER have imagined such a blessing and would NEVER have had the physical stamina for such a journey. The vantage point from the Mount of Beatitudes was the perfect place to say thank you - yep - what happened there really did make a difference. . . and STILL does! Jim was one of our leaders and he too is a survivor. . . there is some special bond among those who have experienced heart surgery and proudly wear "the zipper". There is a wisdom that comes with "borrowed time" and extended life. Thank you seems inadequate but sometimes its the best prayer at all. I was asked to serve communion to my fellow sojourners at "the garden tomb". He said - - - Every time you do this. . . . REMEMBER. . . . . Oh I pray I never forget.
We celebrated the first anniversary of my new heart with great joy and celebration! The day is so near my birthday yet somehow Happy Heart Day seems more important! I think thats true of our spirits as well. . . .We are always much more grateful for the second chance than we are the First!!! Ahhhh Grace!
We went to the Ohio State Fair and ate wonderful fair food and saw wonderful exhibits including a giant butter sculpture. We watched the draft teams pull beautiful wagons and found a perfect grassy spot for a picnic in the midst of it all. Everything seems so much richer when you value the gift of each day. I am so grateful!! Happy Heart day ya'll!!!
How can one year contain so much grace and goodness. This heart oh God, the one you created, the one you fixed is the one you own and the one who loves you so. This very heart swells to consider the journey to this place. The stole I wear was made for me by an amazing artist. It is made up of small scraps of fabric each one representing a person or a family. Many are from the congregation I currently serve but many are from people who I have known through the years. It is truly one of the things I most treasure. . . Each scrap of fabric is different and unique and represents lives so dear. Some of the stories are so funny and bring back so many joy filled memories. There is a piece of lace from a wedding dress, a bandana from camp, a youth ministry tshirt. There is fabric that speaks to the depth and beauty of so many relationships - pieces that sparkle, pieces that are old. There is a piece of handmade raw silk made by women in Cambodia rescued from the sex trade. There is 3 beautiful purple flames to represent each of my children and one beautiful gold flame perfectly placed over my heart as a sign of the love of my life and the gift of marriage. There are scraps that remind of sadness as well. Each time it is placed around my shoulders I am reminded that the blessing that is upon each of us is the sum total of the amazing ways are lives are so intertwined. . . . the laughter, the love, the tears, the joy. That is life! and Life is a gift. Thank you Thank You thank you
Tavie, no doubt is likely sharing something irreverently inappropriate. . . . exactly why she brings so much joy into my life. . . one of the most beautiful hearts I know. . . and believe me. . . I know a good heart when I see one.
I've attempted many times to post "final thoughts". . .
To be honest there hasnt been one defining moment where i might find myself brushing off my hands, closing the book and saying. ."there! Thats done!" I guess i've been waiting for that moment. I suspect, however, that there will always be - one more step and that this journey will never be done. Since that last post MONTHS ago. . there were steps that i was certain to be the crossing finish line of this experience. . . .
I set some physical goals - worked hard almost every day to reach them: Did 3 5k walks in the fall and the Thanksgiving Day 10k. These were personal victories. . . I had never before experienced any level of physical accomplishment - each time i rushed to the car for some display of emotional tear filled breakdown. . ..
I've also learned that I will ALWAYS be a cardiac patient. Yes, my condition is chronic. The aneurysm is repaired, the heart valve is clicking away. Full healthy function requires so many things to be "ideal". There will always be a few pills every day. . . controlling rate and pressure, clotting, nutrients etc. There will always be twice yearly appointments for echocardiagrams and check ups to monitor flow and function. There will always be weekly finger sticks to monitor protime / INR and coumadin dosage. There will always be risk.
I will EVER be a champion for Heart Health and cardiac care!
But simply saying that there will always be articulates a great faith in the gift of what WILL BE. The confidence of the hope of tomorrow. The gift of this moment and this day. I've learned to treasure each breath and offer each heart click as a thank you.
I've learned that
the greatest blessing comes in surprising ways
when you are recovering from major surgery you really need support! (that means good friends and good undergarments!)
being dependent and in need is the most humbling and sometimes humiliating place to be. Which is why everyone should be there at least once
no one is indespensable! We are not as important as we want to think. Rest and renewal is for healing - true of our bodies and very true of our soul.
prayer is the most amazing mystery I know (or at least in the top 5). I've learned so much about prayer especially that we talk too much and listen too little.
"being" is more important than "doing"
meat is good!
friends dont have to talk. . . sometimes just sharing space is exactly whats called for.
Hugs are awesome and you should never miss the chance to say I Love you.
Scars are beautiful! they really are. . .they tell a story of healing and strength. (however, 70spf is still recommended)
I know there is much more to learn. . . . so often I am aware that I am able to do things that I could never have been able to do before the aneurysm repair. So often I'm aware of the blessing of getting to experience anything wonderful at all. . . that my very existence is miraculous.
I'm thankful for so much. . . . . and I'm thankful for you. Each day is a gift . . . . .and His love is extravagant.
