THANKS GIVING!!

WE DID IT! 


One day when walking the required 1 lap around the back yard in my very large blue plaid pajamas my husband says "your doing great!, If you keep this up you'll be ready for a 10k!"     Now I am pretty sure he was being just a bit sarcastic in response to the huge challenge of a 3 minute walk, but I am one to always jump on a challenge!  DO NOT ever tell me I CAN"T do something.   So I set my mind then that I would walk in the Annual Thanksgiving day 10K as the most awesome way ever to say THANK YOU FOR MY NEW HEART!

WIth the feast fixins' well underway - and a few folk still curled up in bed - Oldest dtr Amy was there at the finish line celebrating the victory of the finish.  (she had finished quite a while earlier but her hug was one of the best trophies ever!)     Yes it was a challenge, but I passed up the Chik filet cow, the flying pig, the guy in hunting boots, the guy in cowboy boots, and the granny's in velour suits and hoop earrings!!   

Today I am more thankful than any thanksgiving I have ever experienced!!!   The clicking heart says thank you / thank you / thank you / thank you.

Hope yours does too!   Happy Thanksgiving friends!!

BRIDGES

I walked in the Bridges Freedom walk 5K. I signed up for this walk because goals motivate me. Walking continues to be an emotional blessing - still finding me in tears with each step further. The Bridges for a Just Community is a great organization- - but new to me. They do wonderful Justice work in the cincinnati area. The walk began and ended at the Freedom Center (which you must see - if you havent) . The route crossed 3 bridges between kentucky and ohio across the Ohio river to recall the journeys of slaves to freedom. Many people in the walk that pulled my heart to more courage - the one man who walked with his legs braced - he walked very slowly - and in moments of obvious pain - finished last - but did it! There was a crowd there at the finish line - cheering and applauding and crying (that was me!) There were the obvious chemo patients - the wheel chairs. I'm reminded that life truly is about courage and strength and will and gratitude and blessing. I don't recall what my time was but i did win a first place medal for my age division (there were only a few! and it wasnt a great time) but I held that medal and cried all the way to the car. I can't believe the gift of this clicking heart! So grateful so grateful!

Still . .

Still Healing. . . much less pain overall, the sternum is still healing, most days I reach a point where the muscles in my chest just ache. .

Still working on Therapeutic levels in the blood. . . Made my first drive to the cardiologists coumadin clinic this past week (post home care). . the level was "pretty close". . . just a minor adjustment in dosage, then back next week for a recheck and a visit with the Nurse practitioner and a stress test.

Speaking of stress test. . .

Still walking. . . almost every day. 3 miles! I missed a day this week because i just felt weak. . . My energy levels come in waves it seems. . .its pretty typical of anyone after major surgery. It is still the most amazing feeling . . this whole experience of getting to be more physically active than I have in years!. . I always walk with the ipod. . its become such a rich time of prayer and worship. .Every day I walk farther, or the inclines seem easier, or the pace is faster. . . I'm so amazed! so grateful! I almost am always weeping by the time I turn the corner and head home.

Still pacing. . . back into 'normal' life. . The first Sunday back to preaching was just about the most amazing blessing ever. . . it was also the longest stretch of activity that I've experienced since the surgery. . up at 6 am, preached 2 services, lots of (very gentle) hugging, Lunch with people I love, a walmart stop and home by 2 pm. . WIPED OUT. . pain meds, jammies on by 3!
I've been surprised at the challenge of just "thinking" - staying concentrated for the work of sermon prep, study, meeting prep, scheduling etc. Those brain cells have been focusing on other things for a while! I drove a few times this past week, short distances and always with the pillow belted in. . certain turns or instances are still a bit painful but its getting easier each time. Hope to take on some longer drives next week. Still will not be able to lift over 5 pounds for over another month!. . . thats even more challenging as the pain lessens. . I find myself reaching for things all the time!

Still in AWE! . . . God is so faithful!

"Touch Base" tuesday

Just touching base - The day to day progess would certainly seem boring or mundane to most but we are celebrating miracles daily! Little things - like standing up straight with diminishing pain, less coughing, higher oxygen levels, therapeutic coumadin levels. The stamina and energy to enjoy all day, every day with rarely a nap is a reality I havent experienced in a long, long time. My first trip to a grocery store in over a month was surreal! I took a daughter with me - to drive and lift - but it was just exciting to be "out"! We were there almost two hours and I was a bit wiped out. . but it is indeed a milestone and another step towards full recovery.

I'm learning that there will continue to be "issues" but not necessarily "setbacks". Over the weekend I experienced some fluid retention and swelling in feet and hands. This required an adjustment in the diuretic dosage. Many of these are common following any surgery - but increased issues in Heart surgery. I'm assured that all of these "issues" are still short term and just part of the journey.

In some way I'm still reminded every day of the fact that it will take some time for the sternum to fully fuse. Coughing, sneezing, change of positions all serve as reminders that I'm 'not there yet'! I did try to drive too far too soon and experienced quite a bit of pain as a result. We dont realize how many muscles we use to do the simplest of things.

One interesting piece of heart valve trivia is the challenge of finding a good vitamin/mineral supplement that doesnt contain vitamin K. I did find one brand name but it didnt include a lot of other things that I need - especially in trying to nurture some "richer" blood. Well some research on the Net revealed a great supplement created by someone with the same needs- its called CLOTAMIN. (of Course!) Ongoing challenges for life will be sources of Vitamin K - even in "healthy" sources - broccoli, spinach, dark greens, cauliflower, and avocados. These really are some of my favorites - but eating these challenge the ability to keep meds at therapeutic levels.

Today was another milestone in the journey as I had my last Home Care visit. I'll now make at least weekly trips to the doctors office to monitor Coumadin level (at least until I'm approved for the home monitor in 90 days).

5 weeks ago I was weak, fatiqued, and short of breath walking from the car to the door. I'm now walking 2.5 miles every day and increasing distance, speed, and stamina every day. Its the most amazing feeling!

I received my valve implant ID card in the mail today from St. Jude Medical. Another fascinating point is the sound and clicking of the mechanical valve. The
straighter I stand the louder it is. Not everyone can hear it but some can hear it very clearly, and some are very creeped out by it! Mostly I think its the most wonderful sound ever - because it means new and extended life - however, in the moments of trying to sleep it can be quite the distraction! We've had some laughs wondering if my clip on microphone at church will pick up the clicking sound through the sound system. . If so, we'll have to make sure that all hymns are played in rhythm to a pulse rate of 68-72!

This Sunday 9/7 I will return to preaching and worship. It was my goal when I first met with the surgeon. I've missed the experience of worship but have experienced the body of Christ, the church in a most beautiful way. I am so excited to be in the midst of these I love, who have loved in such generous ways. The last time I was there we shared communion - it was so emotional for me. I love them so much! This Sunday will be a re- gathering around a meal of grace! I'm suspecting that potentially the "sermon" will just be me standing there crying tears of grace and gratitude!


So much to give thanks for today! God's grace is so generous, so extravagant!

Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep wisdom? It's way over our heads. We'll never figure it out. Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do? Anyone who has done him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice? Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always praise! Yes. Yes. Yes. Romans 11:33

Wednesday Wrap Up

Feeling better today. Chest X ray was clear, but antibiotics have kicked in. still having some coughing fits that cause pain. No fevers today and feeling stronger. Blood Pressure is great - (like a teenager - said the nurse!) and heart rate strong and healthy. Energy still a bit zapped. Monday and tuesday wiped me out.

Visit with Cariologists assistant today went well. Some blood results back. . .some levels are still a little low - which is not unusual after such major surgery and 3 transfusions. Still a bit anemic. Still have lower immunity tools. I must learn greater and greater patience. . I thought I might be "released". . however there are still a few appointments yet to come. .3 weeks from now with the assistant again. . and then to determine Cardiac Rehab. I'm determined to spend the next 3 weeks surpassing the capabilities of Cardiac Rehab. It would be quite a lot of driving 3 times a week for 6 weeks. IF I can accomplish the goals independently then I can be excused. I'll have a stress test in a few weeks, another followup with the Surgeon, a full exam - appointment with the cardiologist, a process of approval for the home protime monitor, and a training class, and and echo cardiogram in 2 months just to look at the valve and heart flow. Right now the heart is a bit enlarged but this again is very typical after surgery and no cause for alarm. Driving will come very very slowly and cautiously because of the continued healing of the sternum. I'll be hitchin rides for a while. . . good thing there are a few drivers in the house.

While the guys in the house were stepping back into the world of football coaching this evening. . I geared up and walked the indoor track at the school. I did a very solid/strong 35 minutes in a therapeutic target heart range. Felt Awesome. would never even attempted it 5 weeks ago.

Food and I are still trying to work things out. . So much that I liked before does not taste good at all. . This is very common after such a major medical procedure. Sometimes it all comes back to before and sometimes it doesnt - so i'm told. I'm relearning everything and trying different things just to see if it tastes good at all. Lowfat Cottage Cheese was a great snack today but even the peaches were too sweet. I still love shrimp but the batter is too sweet. The only drink I can swallow is water water water and lots of it. A sip of koolaid made me shudder. other things that I cant eat right now because of taste are: sweet bread, cola, cookies, ice cream, any desserts, almost all fruit, cole slaw, sweet salad dressings, ketchup (oh my dear old friend ketchup!, pizza - Some things that I Love right now are: eggs, salads with very little dressing, peanut butter on wheat grain crackers, tuna salad, mmmmm bacon, roast, potatoes, grilled cheese, chicken noodle soup, almonds, sunflower seeds, and plain cheerios.

Just for a point of fascinating heart surgery trivia: We received the Insurance statement for the hospital today. . . The hospital admission alone was almost $84,000. and our insurance paid every penny. All the bills are coming in and our eyes widen when we see the cost. still have no idea what our own bottom line out of pocket might be. . but already the statements have well surpassed $100k. .amazing amazing amazing.

I know that you can't put a price on health, a restored heart, a hopeful future. . . but apparently the health care providers can. . . and it AINT CHEAP!

Thank YOU again and always for your faithful prayer and encouragment!

Peace to you and yours this night!

2 steps forward . . . . 1 step back. . . (or the post asking for more prayer please)

its been a few days of moving forward and stepping back. . . of course thats still progress!

Sunday was the best day ever... I walked a full mile early in the morning before the heat hit. . .we were blessed to share a meal with friends that we miss so much. . .So encouraging! BUT THEN.

I woke monday morning before 5a.m. just "sick". . cold sweat, chills, pain in chest. .then came lots and lots of coughing. . which of course is excruciating with an unhealed sternum. I hadnt needed to take the Heavy Pain Stuff for a few days. . but it was needful for the coughing and to bring the fever down. . . Later morning was more bearable. . a wonderful visit from my dear Heather. A home care visit from someone who had no idea why they were there nor what they were doing. . . confirmed the low grade temp. Through the day and into the night the temp increased into a full on fever. and coughing increased.

ANOTHER home care nurse had to come this morning to do do what the other one didnt and draw some blood. Blood is too thin. she reported to the surgeons office who set a full 5- 6 hours of events in motion. Stat orders of Xray's to rule out pneumonia, blood work to check for infections. . a visit to the primary care physician for a good "once over". . . (who then also ordered more labwork) eventually some prescriptions were ordered although we're still waiting on test results. .

So much is frustrating and hard about health care sometimes. . How someone in pain, and feverish must endure such a confusing system - what deepening empathy for chronically ill and elderly we have. One doctor sent us to another doctor and faxed lab orders. . however, the one doctor doesnt use the lab thats next door, or closest but only 2 in the whole county. The one doctor wrote a prescription but the pharmacy wouldnt fill it until they talked to the other doctor because of interactions. . . the patient couldnt take anything for pain, infection, cough, relief until the labwork was done. We arrived at the lab - several miles from the doctor, the house, the pharmacy at 11:50 only to learn that they are closed for lunch from 11:30 - 1 pm. so we went back to pharmacy to find we still cant pick up meds. . . The other doctor had added some additional lab tests so 2 doctors several lab orders at a lab i'd never been. . . and had to wait an hour and a half to get to meant filling out the same form 3 times, and then registering for the x ray with 3 people who hadnt figured out the new computer system and cursed, and talked about your tests and you in front of you. . . all while you are feeling weaker by the minute. . . It took us another hour and a half just to get blood drawn (2 sticks) and an xray. . . We drove the several miles back to the pharmacy to finally pick up the antibiotic ordered by one doc and approved by another. . . We may not have all the lab results back until tomorrow at this point. but they went ahead and ordered meds to treat as if pneumonia. Just to keep things interesting I already had scheduled an appointment with yet another doctor tomorrow (cardiologist check in)!

So Now. . I'm home, I've taken the antibiotic, the coughmeds, the pain pills, and all sorts of other things, the PJs are waiting and I've got some resting to do. We'll update when we know more.

Here's my hope. . . I'll be resting. . . You be praying.

James 5:16
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

Field Trips

As I write this on Friday morning. . its my first day Home Alone! While I couldnt be more excited. . it also feels a bit strange. This has been a week full of new, but very small, ventures. On Wednesday morning we took our walk and then a short drive to Bob Evans for a great breakfast of wonderful protein of course! We went to another store to check out some heart rate monitors - ( i know I know - we live on the edge!) I start out the days so strong but after about 2 hours I was asking about the time because I just felt wiped out. We returned home and only a few minutes seated found my sleeping sound. It had already been a BIG day for the patient!

Getting in the car is quite the process. . .my husbands truck requires a stool as I'm not allowed to use my hands or arms to pull or push myself. I have opted for the wonderful Heart pillow from Ikea. . . .Not only does it provide the coughing, sneezing, moving support I need but it also has great arms and real-sized hands to hug people who visit. The Pillow must be between my chest and the seat belt for quite some time.

Each morning when I wake I feel a bit more encouraged as the pain in the sternum is just a bit less. . . By Wednesday I had developed a "new Pain" that was a bit concerning. Just right of the incision I experienced very sharp, deep pain with every deep breath. Wednesday night was another sleepless night. .. no position or drug could bring relief. Thursdays big adventure was my prescheduled appointment with the Surgeon. After establishing that the sternum was still wired securely he went on to explain how many things were cut, and spread, and shifted - all for the work of repairing the heart. This particular pain comes from muscle spasms and healing of the major pectoral muscles which , like many other things were cut and reattached during the process of surgery. As I heal and am able to stand straighter and take deeper breaths different muscles will be used again for the first time. . . Turns out he was able to map out a whole journey of pains yet to come in this healing process....Healing of the heart requires pain and healing in the whole body! - (that will preach!)

Because the new valve is mechanical I will be on anticoagulation therapy the rest of my life. We're still working on correct dosages to maintain therapeutic levels. After 90 days we can apply for insurance approval of a home test kit- this is something I deeply hope for. One weekly fingerstick at home is so much better than a needle stick blood draw at the lab every week. There are about 5 pills that I take daily that will discontinue in one week! - all signs of progress! I couldnt be more pleased with the healing of the incision - its about 10 inches long down the center of my chest but was "glued" together not stitched or stapled or duct taped. We've been walking 2 x daily - i've worked up to 1/2 mile each time so one mile every day. Dr. Cook called me an overachiever - so probably wont have to go through a cardiac rehab program. (I'm still wondering if that was an insult or compliment!). I check in with my cardiologist next week for more recovery stuff! Now - the walks are not sprints by any means. The weather this week has made it very challenging to find the right time. . .heat is not good - and i'm not to be out when its over 80 - yesterday reached 93 - and eliminated an evening walk.

The surgeon explained to me in greater detail with diagrams the amazing work of this dacron graft that secured the aneurysm and attaches to the new valve. An "average" aortic root is 2 cm . . when the aneurysm was discovered mine measured 4.9 - we were able to keep that stable for more than 5 years! When i went into surgery the root measured near 6 cm and was in rupture range. Because I am adopted and have no medical history - there are several theories and possible reasons as to the "why" . . but none that can really be substantiated. Typically these conditions occur genetically - sometimes involving a larger connective tissue disorder. - sometimes involving larger "syndromes". We've been advised to complete full cardiac workups on each of our kids - and told that I will continue to be monitored annually for any new signs of weakening.

BUT for now I have a new heart! A bionic valve that thrills me with the sound and feel of strong beats through my chest! I have a tightly wrapped 2 cm aortic root! From the moment of knowing of the surgery my goal has been to return to preaching at the wonderful Waynesville UMC the first Sunday of September. "Thats only a month after surgery!" states the surgeon. . "Yes, which is why we better get movin!" states the patient. This is a day that is the culmination of much dreaming, visioning, and planning - as new worship times, styles, etc begin. I wont be "lifting" until mid october, Driving is yet to be determined, I certainly wont be back full speed but am so looking forward to our celebration of God's goodness that sunday around a table of grace on September 7. . (my pillow will be doing lots of hugging!)

Today I have prayers to pray, notes to write, books to read and wonderful DVD's to enjoy. Thank you ever seems inadequate in response to the many gifts of encouragment, grace, and love. . . the food!, the cleaning, the notes, the pictures! - My heart is overwhelmed and humbled beyond words!

Before you sign off.. .take just a moment, press your hand against your chest, and just listen! - feel the miracle of the blood moving through your body! Be amazed! and be in AWE! of this Gift of Life - Each beat is a gift - may the beat of your heart, guide the rhythm of your day, and may every breath be offered as gift to the Giver of Life. - - - May every beat, every breath, every step be an offering of thanksgiving to the ONE THAT LOVES you so.

No wonder my heart is glad, and my tongue shouts his praises! My body rests in hope. Acts 2:26

Friday Night Heart Beats

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind. Luke 10:27

I've considered most recently the appropriateness of these words for these moments. Truly the call to every breath we offer throughout our life - but also a very accurate picture of these days of recovery.


MY HEART: Maybe not the heart indicated by scripture but the Heart update is this: All is well. All vital signs continue to remind us each day that there has been an amazing physical work of healing done. Blood pressure is in normal range - which alone is so energizing. temp / heart rate / fluid loss - all good. The scars are healing nicely. I have some stitches that will be removed when I see the surgeon again next week. The greatest pain of course is and will continue to be in the sternum / breast bone that has been wired back together. . . coughs and sneezes and sudden moves are so painful. Even in small things such as pushing the soap pump causes pressure in the chest. The healing of this bone to full fusion can take 6 - 8 weeks.

Healing God, This heart is fragile, and a bit patched up. Its not the typical heart, and doesnt fully resemble the one that you created. . . but oh God it is so eager. This patched up heart dreams of things that the former heart could never consider. . . this whole heart Loves you and knows that every beat is a gift from you.

My SOUL: Some have told me that as difficult as the "being still" may be that this time has all the potential of a rich transforming work in the soul. My soul swells in ways that words can not articulate. I sit and consider such things as close calls, and lost energy, human limitations, so many things - ALL through this filter of God's Love and Grace. and my soul leaps, I weep. I will ever be amazed at the beauty of the Body of Christ. . . I ache at times in the discomfort of such unfamiliar roles of dependency. I am filled with gratitude for those I share this journey of faith with and am so anxious to see. . . My soul has been soothed and strengthened by cards, notes, calls, flowers, food, handmade prayers (as pictured above) in many forms. There have been crayon drawings of children, and the shaky penmanship of the dear praying saints. I hear stories of great faith being lived out in the place that calls me pastor and I am thrilled beyond words. I will sit here while I must, I am not resenting this time - in fact embracing such holy moments and the ever clear voice of God.

Transforming God, This soul has been weary, this soul knows sadness and discouragement, and recently fear. This soul feels awkwardness at its current place of constantly receiving. . But this Soul Loves You, Oh how this soul loves you. . . .and yearns for all that you will send its way.

MY STRENGTH: Each day I feel stronger. I am doing breathing exercises and walking 3 - 4 times daily . Todays goal was 3 - 6 minute walks. We have a 4 week chart that increases endurance each day. I dont have a treadmill so we do some rough estimates. Mostly i've been walking laps around the back yard. Yesterday each walk was 3 laps. and today 4 laps. Walking is great time for praying. At the far back right corner of the yard is a fire pit. . . each time I turn that corner I remember the time earlier this summer with the UM Interns and the feelings of joy and hope as they shared their hearts and dreams around the camp fire. I pray for them and the ministries they live, I pray for the Church. I pray for my family and the memories made in this place. I pray for our friends that have so blessed our lives. . . I see tomato plants, and baby watermelons. . and I pray for the hungry. . . with each prayer and each step.. my heart beats stronger. Food that tastes good and Sleep longer than 3 hours are still areas to tackle but each day my strength is renewed. . and each day is better.

Restoring God, This body feels weak, simple things seem difficult. This body is battered, and bruised, stitched together, and slow, weak, and sometimes in pain.. . .But every pore in its being loves you, this body knows of the gift of your healing.

MY MIND: I've been surprised by my shorter attention span, yearning for quite more than movies and TV. My soul will not allow my mind to tackle or even consider the stack of books related to "church work" or begin to send and respond to emails regarding fall programmng, planning, schedules, etc. Soon enough mind, soon enough! (you havent been home a week remember!) My soul has convinced my mind of the value and gift of this time. My mind is thinking about so much. . like what to write on websites. My mind is so busy considering how it is that this soul, this heart, and strength are so interconnected and intertwined. This mind is moving in ways like never before. . it is a fertile time for the thinking type - so much to ponder.

All Knowing God - This mind is spinning with possibility. Sometimes I want to have everything figured out. So often I want to know exactly what your up to! I want to understand why and how things happened as they did. But the more I know of You, the more I know there is more that I want to know! This Mind seeks understanding and wisdom and loves you more deeply with each thought.

God of Grace - thank you for the one that reads this and travels with us in prayer and thought and love - your gifts of grace to us embodied - as friends. - -- there is none more rich.

PEACE TO YOU AND YOURS

3 Days Home

Lots of things to share for the sake of update:

Heart update: Home Health Nurses come twice weekly. there are blood levels to monitor, and lots of things to check on. Monday was very encouraging. My blood pressure reached "normal range" for the first time in probably 6 years. Since the discovery of the aortic aneurysm the strategy has been to keep my BP very low so to not overstress the heart. It was an amazing reality to feel "normal". HOWEVER, My heart got so excited with normal, that it just kept going up and up and up. So by early Wednesday morning my BP was way way too high, Tuesday night was a very difficult and restless night, the increased BP caused excruciating headaches that ice packs nor pain pills could ease. The home care nurse was here again today and with one quick call to the surgeon, and one swallow of one pill (one of the ones i've been on for years) the BP is dropping back down to Normal. . and I already feel better.

BABY BABY I still must have 24/7 supervision (Grrrr) . . Dan had to run an errand and so we had to find a "babysitter". . . I woke up from a deep solid rest to find my babysitter nestled up with a book. What food for the soul was the conversation and soul connections of my dear friend. She even stayed through the evening and we found ourselves at the table around a Bible sharing with great enthusiasm the amazing things we continually discover about the ONE that loves us so.

I'm certain that Dan enjoyed the break. A football friend stopped by yesterday and he was like a "boy with a toy" as they spoke the language of the gridiron.

MEAT & GREET I dont know that food is tasting any different or better - but I am discovering more things that I like. So many of the things that I liked before the surgery just taste yucky. . . some say this is temporary. . but it would be ok if its not. . The body is amazing in the ways it craves what you need. . . I'm told i need 3x my normal protein consumption for good healing. . And the things that taste the most wonderful to me are such things - eggs, MEAT, some cheese. - - with apologies to all my vegetarian friends - I confess that I AM A SHAMELESS CARNIVORE.

OLYMPIC HEART RECOVERY EVENTS: The olympics have been a timely metaphor for these days at home. We have goals and records. today my main event is 4 - 4 minute walks! I can be outside for this thrilling track and field event if its under 80 degrees. The evenings have been nice for a yard lap. Other events we are competing in: The meds, The vitals, the shower!, the surgery sock medley, the breathing exercise, the diuretic dash, the pillow tucking relay and others.

Well truly our eyes are on the prize. . my "heart" swells to consider and even get a small glimpse of full recovery.

1 Corinthians 9:25:
25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.

Your prayers, and cards, and comments, and emails, continue to surround and support us. MY HEART thanks God for YOUR HEART.

With deep love and gratitude, Tammy Jo

Heart to Home

Hello Friends: I busted out of the hospital this afternoon and am now conquering recovery at home.

I was overcome really quickly with the fact that going home doesnt mean returning to full life and activity. I am still a patient. . just with a much more comfortable view (and better TV). I will share in full vulnerability that the limitations at this point are emotionally more difficult than anything. Today was a good day for probably a long past due cry.

Trying to get all the drugs organized alone was like that Online Jewelquest game - lots of colors and shapes.

We will begin to ask for what you have offered: grocery runs - little things that just come to mind that seem to make all that live here sighing with the on going " I didnt even think of that" response. we all feel a bit of sadness.. My supervision is still 24/7 for 7 full days. I'm certain that everyone that lives here must feel some sadness because this event alters all of our lives.

The email and cell phone will remain on "away". I will embrace this time as sabbath for body, mind, and spirit. Thank you for understanding and receiving our need for on going privacy and healing . . . I know that soon I will be up to deeper conversation and interaction. .. This introvert however, will probably have to do a lot of "processing" and God Talk in the days to come. Oh God what will you yet do? Anticipation fills me with such great hope.

Psalm 130:5
I am counting on the Lord;yes, I am counting on him.I have put my hope in his word.

You must know that your words here, your cards and notes have been healing balm, moments of smiles, and have encouraged my heart deeply.

I am so grateful to God for the Gift of YOU!

Live from the Front

Hey. . .Its Tammy Jo. . . Friends (who make me laugh too much) came to the hospital to give Dan some coverage and to swap heart stories. .. . and hooked up a wi fi hook up. First I'm amazed. . and overcome by your prayers. .I KNOW THEM AND FEEL THEM. today has been a good day. The 2 units of blood made so much difference. Moving better, need to still do some lung work, done some laps. Food is challenging. . things just taste "blah". Last night was spent trecking from bed , chair, bathroom - we dropped 7 lbs in "retained" water. - woo hoo. .heres some things that need to click: clear lungs,ability to eat, maintain good oxygen, and a couple techy things. Not sure if this will be Sunday or Monday. .but i'm looking forward to continued recovery in a place I love. I've watched a lot of olympics. . I had no idea badminton was an olympic sport. . . But its on the list of new possibilities. . .I am soooo up to date on the news. . .. I am definitely not even going to tackle email but will use this space to say "how great is the love that God has lavished upon us that we should be called the children of God. . " I'm so glad we're family. . . .

Strength of Heart

I talked with Tammy Jo and she is stronger today. She just needs the oxygen level to come up. Her goal today is to do more walking and coughing to remove a small amount of fluid in her lungs. The transfusions did their job now she has to do hers. Heart patients walking in the hall should be an olympic event!

Heart Mending

The word from Dan is that Tammy Jo's energy level dropped yesterday and her blood pressure was running low. The doctors have given her 2 units of blood and are confident that this approach will bring her back up to speed.

Tammy Jo is grateful for your prayers and continues to draw encouragement from the knowledge that you are a praying people.

WORD of my Heart

Psalm 86:

¹¹ Teach me your ways, O Lord,
that I may live according to your truth!
Grant me purity of heart,
so that I may honor you.
¹² With all my heart I will praise you, O Lord my God.
I will give glory to your name forever,
¹³ for your love for me is very great.
You have rescued me from the depths of death

She Walks and Talks

Dan will update further this evening. Word from him this afternoon is that she's doing great. She's sitting up and walking. She's not blogging yet but had preposted scripture to appear during her recovery.... always a step ahead of the rest of us. Thank you for allowing the space for a quiet recovery with immediate family. You know Tammy Jo will not let it stay quiet for long! Please post comments here - I'm sure she'll be reading them as soon as she can and they will be precious to her since she will have them here forever on this blog.

Pieces of my Heart

Psalm 18:20 (the message)
God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

Late Tuesday Night

Just got off the phone with the nurse; Tammy is now off the ventilator and resting.
Look for more updates in early AM.
Thanks again for all the prayers, all of you.

On To Recovery

We met with Dr. Cook at approx. 6:00 P.M. , he gave us the good news we'd all been prayin for, Aortic root repair all done , new valve in place, no complications. I got to see her at approx. 7:00 P.M., and she looks great, all vitals and indications are good. They are in the process of letting her wake up , then they will remove the ventilator. I plan to be back there in the early A.M. Thanx again to all of you for all the support you give, your thoughts, prayers, and all you do. Dan

Warming Up

We were just updated that they are warming her up and she's coming off the bypass. That mechanical valve must be clicking away! Now her heart will finally find out what normal circulation is all about.

Taking it Easy

The bypass machine is doing the work for her now and we won't hear from the doctor for another couple hours. We'll keep you posted

At Last

After waiting since 5 a.m. Tammy Jo went into surgery at 12:20. Fortunately she was able to sleep while she waited. Now Dan is a different story and is in for a day longer than he had already imagined. The surgery will take from 4 to 6 hours so she will be coming out of surgery sometime in the evening. Please wait and visit later when she is home and is ready to share all the hospital stories with you. Dan also requests prayer for the family because they may have more difficulty keeping up with her when her energy gets back to normal. Thank you for your support for the entire Reiser family.

THE PRAYER OF MY HEART

I scheduled this post to appear at the time of the surgery. Hear my HEART Lord, as I cry out to YOU, Hear my prayer Lord and carry me through.

Change in Surgery Time

There has been a surgery schedule mix-up and the surgery will begin at 10 a.m instead of 7 a.m. Yes, instead of being there at 5 as they were told, they needed to be there at 8. Tammy Jo is prepped and ready to go and now she waits.

GOING OFFLINE

Tammy Jo Signing off now. . . Email "Away message" set, cell phone off. . . .

Friends & Family will be posting here until I am able to do so myself. Thank you for reading and sharing this journey with us. . . your prayers and support over the last week has been overwhelming. . we are so aware of God's Grace and goodness.

We report to the hospital at 5am. . (meaning that I will probably just stay up all night! and am definitely just wearing my Jammies . . doesnt make much sense to get dressed up!)

Surgery is scheduled to begin at 7a.m. and we're told that Dr. Cook is NEVER late. Surgery is estimated to last 6 - 7 hours. Please pray for Dr. Cook, and pray for my family. . . certainly tomorrow will be a long and difficult day. I have the easy part.

Peace this night to you and yours.

The JOY of my HEART

Almost Ready !

Monday was full of the work required for a person to show up at the hospital for Open Heart surgery.

Lots of Blood work, lab tests, EKG, XRays, Ultrasounds, Doppler, Vital signs, Mtg with Anesthesiologist, and lots of instructions for tonight and tomorrow.

Temp was great, Blood pressure very low. 85/42. I've had a cough that the anesthesiologist did not like. . But it only happens when I try to get a deep breath. . Hopefully not an obstacle.

There is some type of disinfecting scrub that i must scrub the surgery site, arms, and legs with and also shampoo my hair with Lather, Rinse, and Repeat it all again. . Who Knew!!?!?!

The fatique has been overwhelming. . . makes the resolve stronger! I am eager to get this behind me and make steps (and leaps) towards full health!

I was blessed to have lunch today at the hospital with one of my favorite chaplains. . . . Miss L promised to make sure that the waiting room clan is taken care of. She knows so well the tasks of CVU recovery and was really helpful. . . the nurse had asked me if I was going to be in need of Spiritual Care while I was there. . . I actually chuckled. . Uh know, I'm good, thanks. . I think we've got that covered. "Really?" Uh yea, I cant imagine anyone more prayed over than this girl!

Sooo, trying to get some stuff done at home this evening so that the house is ready for a heart surgery patient to walk back in.

Thank you again for all the undergirding and covering. God is Good!

Loyal and Kind Heart

Proverbs 3:3
Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!Tie them around your neck as a reminder.Write them deep within your heart.

Testing....

Hi all! Just doing a quick "testing" post. I'll be manning the virtual fort while Mom is unable to get to her computer (probably the hardest part of this whole thing for her ;) ). I'll be updating it frequently with her status, which I promise will be more in depth than the usual Facebook status update. Thank you all in advance for your prayers for her and kindness to our entire family during this time.

Peace and Love,
Amy Beth / Ames/ Tammy Jo's Eldest

Burning Heart

What a day! In a 24 hour span I will serve communion to the Emmaus Guys, Be part of the sharing of this sacred meal at Beth and Steve's wedding, feast at the table as we share our love with Linda, then bless this offering of grace to the People of the Waynesville United Methodist Church x2. I will NEVER get over the awe and wonder of it all.

Luke 24:32
They said to each other, “Didn’t our hearts burn within us as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?”

He was known to them in the breaking of the bread.

WORD of my Heart

Psalm 57

⁷ My heart is confident in you, O God;
my heart is confident.
No wonder I can sing your praises!
⁸ Wake up, my heart!
Wake up, O lyre and harp!
I will wake the dawn with my song.
⁹ I will thank you, Lord, among all the people.
I will sing your praises among the nations.
¹⁰ For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens.
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. ¹¹ Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.
May your glory shine over all the earth.

Heart Work

Psalm 51:10:

¹⁰ Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.

All Systems Go!

Dan and I met with the Surgeon, Dr. Cook, today. He laid out lots of toys for us to consider - all types of different valves, pictures of hearts from different angles, lots of brochures with happy healthy people on the front cover. He had reviewed all the films and all the reports and drew nice pictures of exactly what is to happen. The aortic valve will be replaced and and a graft of the aortic root will deal with the aneurysm. The echo also revealed a congenital "hole" in one chamber that he will take care of while he's "in there" with just a few stitches. . he said "Its actually kind of fun!". (Imagine him at parties!)

We had a long conversation about pros and cons of different procedures, processes, options, etc. we've agreed on a mechanical valve. I'm a bit overwhelmed by the thought of lifetime anticoagulation therapy. . but the alternative would be probable valve replacement every 10 - 15 years. I plan to be busy. There will be minimal lifestyle adjustments that includes no more rugby, mountain climbing, or contact sports. I dont know how to break that to the Bengals but I hope they understand.

I have a few more routine pre- surgical tests on Monday then we report back at the hospital at 5 am on Tuesday August 5th. I had a very low grade fever today for unknown reasons. . please pray that there are no other infections happening that would prevent us moving forward.

Side Note: Turns out that my surgeon is a Methodist. . . a typical methodist ... the ones that keep their membership in their home church but havent been there in years and havent found a local congregation to connect with. . . .they would love to find one that is very traditional and just havent found one. . its all contemporary or just not traditional. . .i suggested a few. . .and then gave him a little mini lecture about his home church having to pay apportionments on his membership and that he should either find a new church or send a check back home. . . like most methodists. . he had no idea! he left the room to schedule the surgery and by the time he came back I had thought of yet another GREAT UMC church that he should try. . .He laughed a bit . . and I said "Dr. Cook. . you need to know that it is VERY important to me that my surgeon have a church". . OK he said. . No. . I mean it! I will be asking you a lot over the next few months. I feel so confident in his care, he comes highly recommended, he thinks heart surgery is fun, and He's of the Wesleyan family and a member of my tribe! this is great! He will literally be holding my heart in his hands and I know you'll pray with me that God will be holding us all.!

I have just a few days to tie up loose ends at home, with the kids, at the church. . Its all a bit overwhelming. Last night I met with the leadership of the church to plan for the recovery time. I was overwhelmed by words of blessings.. its hard for a pastor to let go of what they have claimed to be their "responsibility". I know that God will be / is teaching us all so much.

Today I shared with a friend that I felt overwhelmed, resolved, eager, dreadful, hesitant, determined, hopeful, scared, and amazingly peaceful all at the same time. . . and then realized - uh. . thats pretty much the reality of every moment of my life since I've known Jesus!

^{PSALM 139
1} O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
² You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
³ You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
⁴ You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
⁵ You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!

Test Test

Testing email updates. . is this thing on?

PIN CUSHION

I have terrible veins for sticking! We were at the hospital very early this morning for a TEE. Drinking the numbing stuff was pretty nasty.. it was like a tube of orajel in a salad dressing cup - thick consistency and nasty taste. they said "Chug it". . I still had the bandaids from mondays ct stick attempts and now it took 3 more tries to get an iv going. . In the big scheme of thngs i know it seems petty but its the part i dread. . they almost always end up on the back of the hand. . i wish they'd just start there. The TEE again confirmed and affirmed the leakage, the recent changes, and the causes of the 0xygen shortage. They found some other kind of "hole" somehwere else as well that should look different. . not sure what thats all about. . it will be the surgeons call. Dr. Hutchins suggested we just go ahead and get the Angio out of the way while we were there. . so I was sent off to the Cath Lab where I was to be the "next in line" for about 4 hours. Dan went and did some kid transport, came back, and we're still waiting. One reason for us to choose this hospital is the blessing of getting to be a "relief chaplain" here for a while. I love the Spiritual care team here so much and I've been a front row witness to the great care of the medical teams here. .. they really are a family. So Dan got in on some great breakroom food while we were waiting! Great perk! (thanks L!) More pincushion sticks and eventually our number was called! Surreal experience being awake and talking even laughing while you and the people around you are watching the wire move through your body. Good news is that all systems are flowing great! no blockage or obstruction anywhere. The CT reading came in while we were there and it confirmed that the Aneurysm has enlarged and is more than twice the size of a normal aortic root. Definitely all is confirming and affirming that we must move ahead on surgery.
I hadnt planned on the angio today and wasnt prepared for the resulting discomfort. Needed this week to tie down some things like laundry! but now I cant lift . (or actually walk right now).
Just the Minor stuff today reminds me of some shopping to do. .I must get some very loose, very comfy clothes.!
we'd planned on a couple of hours at the hospital this morning and spent over 12.. . . this is a weird place to be. . .trying to keep some privacy and maintain normalcy at the same time. My inbox was full of things that need my attention. I've been in touch with people that I am accountable to regardin responsibilities. . tomorrow I'll have meetings at the church that are so important as we move ahead in vision. I go to the surgeon on Thursday morning, Dan & Emm will be off this weekend to a softball tourney in our home town. I get to be part of Marrying of Beth and Steve this weekend, serve communion twice, an emmaus candle light, Sunday worship, softball celebration, then focus will turn towards the HEARTWORK that lies before us.

I am so looking forward to a wholly working heart!

Ct Scan

3:30 pm Had CT Scan of Chest with Contrast. . I have the WORSE veins. . it took 3 pretty uncomfortable sticks to get the contrast going. .

The CT was ordered to get a current measurement of the aneurysm.

Feeling pretty tired today and wondering how I'm gonna get it all done.

I did get some loose ends tied up regarding bills, schedules, forms for Emm, etc. .

Oh and I got this blog set up!

The Back Story

4 years ago I was mid way through seminary studies and began to really struggle with levels of energy and fatigue. . When I mentioned this to those around me, no one was surprised. . "Your working full time, in school full time, your a busy youth pastor, and a mom of 3. . no wonder your exhausted!" But I knew it was something more. . . The load I was carrying was really no different, busier, or crazier than I had always carried. . I knew that this wasnt just exhaustion, At times I felt that I could hardly function or even take one more step.

My Family doctor explored every possible reason. . He was attentive to a "different" sound in my heart and sent me for an echocardiogram. The Echo revealed that I had an aneurysm on the descending aortic root of my heart. I was referred immediately to a cardiologist. . . The initial measurements were very alarming - placing the aortic root in rupture range - it was deemed very serious. An MRA was ordered to get a more accurate measurement. Thankfully the more accurate measurement placed the aneurysm at just a tenth of a cm outside of seriousness. . .The strategy was then to simply medication therapy to keep my heart rate and blood pressure low to avoid any increased stress on the heart. The goal was to keep the aneurysm stable and monitor it frequently.

Over the past 4 years I have had MRA's and Cardiologist visits every 6 months. With each visit it seemed that the valve murmer would get a bit more noticable. At an appointment 4 months ago the MRA showed the Aneurysm to be stable but the echo showed that the valve leakage had increased and there were now 2 murmers. Since there were no obvious implications of this and all other vitals are still good we just keep watching.

Since that appointment 4 months ago the symptoms have slowly increased. So slowly that I didnt give them much thought but increased to the point of "no denial". . . I was more tired - Could rarely get through a day without a nap. . it was more than just "tired" it was an overall fatique. I began to wonder what might be wrong and didnt even consider it was my heart. . . Shortness of breath was the most indicative of heart issues. . I became very frustrated with my inability to fully participate in so many things. . It increased through the summer to the current reality of hardly able to do a flight of steps, lift a basket of laundry, or even carry groceries from the car without gasping for air. Recently my fingers began to tingle and go numb. I began to get dizzy at times and have issues with balance when standing up.

I called the cardiologists just thinking he might order some kind of test or adjust meds.. . but the blood pressure and the heart rhythms simply point to the fact that it is "Time". Valve replacement here we come.

Dr. Hutchins was very encouraging, stating this is routine and that my age and my health will make it a good thing! We spoke of recovery and time line...

Sooooooo Here we go.